so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
