i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize