...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
