I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Can you repeat that, but with context?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize