just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize