He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
