dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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