You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize