i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize