I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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