Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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