there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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