did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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