roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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