No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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