absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
