Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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