I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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