used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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