I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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