were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize