do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
well most of my day revolves around power hour
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
