I don't think brook has ever known best
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
