You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
