I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
