I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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