do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
