So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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