While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
