dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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