saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
