Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
