Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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