I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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