It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
