I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
