Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was like eating out sand paper
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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