I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize