Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
