think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
