so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
