YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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