i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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