dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
