Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
