Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize