there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The adults are the big ones right?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
