Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
