38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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