just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
3pm strippers are depressing
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
