Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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