She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
