Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
high people should be assigned attendants
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize