the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
