Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i out mim tonsoeep
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