alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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