Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize