Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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