Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
