you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
