grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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