I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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