U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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