PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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