i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
