No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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