I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
