After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
