Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize