Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dicks are not precious.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
