p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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