Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
